The day before Halloween has always held a special wonder for me…as a child I would get my costume already with the anticipation of all the candy I would recieve from the lighted porches..in the dark of night…the magic of the Spirit of the Wild filled all of our little hearts with glee and maybe a little fear…What Fun We Had!!!! Happy Halloween Everyone!
Archives for : October 2009
I wrote this April of 2003….I found it yesterday…Oct 27, 2009…. and thought how timely it still is the the context of relationships….I hope you enjoy….
How Do We Do It?
This morning I woke up thinking abut my Father–in-law and how in his house he has his Wedding pictures proudly displayed along with pictures of him and my Mother-in law dressed up for different occasions… it seem like she should just be in the other room or she has gone out shopping, the funny thing is he did everything in his power and then some to destroy the exact marriage relationship he so openly displays. My In-laws have been divorced for at least twenty years…. why does he have these pictures on his T.V. in the collection of family pictures on the book case? Being from a divorced family myself I wondered the same thing about my Dad who has been married to another wife for twenty years or more, why doesn’t he just give my Mom the pictures of their wedding or even give them to my sister or me? How do we as humans let people we truly love get way from us? How do we do it?
I’ve been married almost fifteen years now to the same man and believe me we have had our ups and downs and for some years it was mostly downs. Sometimes I look at our relationship and wonder how do we do it? Each time we have come up against a seemingly insurmountable obstacle we both in our own way find the courage to change whatever it may be about ourselves which in turn keeps us on the path allowing us to continue this journey together.
Sometimes, observing my Dad or my Mom I catch a glimpse of something I used think was just nostalgia but as I have watched over the years I think it may be regret. Regret for that which was lost, that which held so much promise and yet has faded in the folds of time. I think my Father and Mother still love each other very much, I think this because of how I catch glances between them or the far off look my Dad gets when ever we get together for family gatherings, yes, we are one of those families that can gather the first wife and the second wife and not have World War III, actually my Mom and Step-Mom get along like sisters… who have a family to take care of no matter what. This is surprising since they did not have the skills to make the adjustments within themselves to make their marriage work my Step-Mother was married before also… Why have Cantu and I been able to do this ? Is it the time that we live in or, the generation we came from, the information so readily available to us? Is it the fact that we use the spiritual tools we have practiced to look at ourselves in terms of our own behavioral patterns, those patterns that lead us to our todays. The prior generation never gave much thought to these ideas they for the most part followed some what the theory that if it worked for my parents it will work for me. That theory did not apply though. What if they had found a way to work out their trouble within themselves…take the inward journey… would my parents and my husband’s parents have stayed together? Would they be like my husband and I knowing that before we look at each other we better check ourselves.
Yet I still say…How do we do it?